When it comes to dealing with any type of governmental office like the Department of Motor Vehicles or the Social Security office, you get used to a certain amount of poor service and red tape. I needed to go into city hall to the department of planning to ask a zoning question. I was told the best time to go was first thing in the morning or right before they close about 4:00 or 4:30. I first tried calling them, but it always went to an answering machine. And guess what; they don’t return your call. One Friday I decided to head to city hall at a little before 4:30 to talk with a planner. What an experience!!
Now, the Planning Department is a fairly large area with a waiting area that appears to hold 30 or so people. I was shocked to see a completely empty waiting area. There was no one else there but me and the man behind the counter. I was thinking this is too good to be true. I made a bee line straight for him. “Hi!” I said rather cautiously. And I began to state the reason I was there; and then he cut me off. “I’m sorry sir, but you have to take a number.” He said in a cheery but official tone of voice. I slowly and purposefully looked over my right shoulder to the empty waiting area behind me. Then I repeated the same gesture over my left shoulder. Finally I looked back at him with my best “you got to be kidding me” look. He just sat there with this dumb smile pointing at the number dispenser. I took a big sigh and walked over to the number dispenser and took a number. I then looked at him with a “now what?” kind of look. He said, “When you hear your number called you can come back to the counter.” I couldn’t believe it. I walked to the row upon row of empty seats and sat down. As I sat there and stared directly at him; he called my number.
I go back up to the counter thinking he is just fucking with me. He cheerfully asks, “How can I help you sir?” I tell him the information I am looking for and in the same cheerful tone he says,” I am so sorry sir, but the public help counter is for people who have questions that take 5 minutes or less to answer. I would need to look up the information you are requesting on the computer and that could take up to 15 minutes. You need to make an appointment.” I responded, “There is no one else here. You do not have any one else to help. It’s just me and you.” He doesn’t budge. He goes on and on saying these are the rules…blah blah blah. I stopped hearing him after a while and just stared blankly at him.
At this point I am very pissed off and I ask to speak with his manager or whomever is in charge. I am told to sit down and his supervisor will be called down to speak with me. I sit down and hear over the P.A. system, “Mr. Johnson to the Planning Department front counter.” So for the next 10 minutes I am sitting 10 feet directly in front of the guy who wouldn’t help me. And he seems unfazed by the whole situation because he just stares at me with that same dumb smile. I wonder is this part of public counter training. Every once in a while I look around and shrugs my shoulders as I am trying to say with my body language as best as possible, “Look you asshole we are still alone and you could of helped me already!!” Finally, at 4:45 I go back to the counter and ask him what happened to his supervisor. He says, “Give me a minute and I will check for you.” He gets on the phone and makes a couple of calls to the back. He smiles at me and says, “I am sorry sir but my supervisor is gone for the day. You can come back in the morning to speak with him if you like.” I know he is enjoying this. I was ready to reach across the counter and strangle the hell out of this guy. I couldn’t believe this was happening. Clenching my teeth tightly I ask him when was the next available appointment. “Sorry,” he says, “You have to make the appointment at the appointment desk and you better hurry because they stop making appointments 5 minutes before 5:00.” I run to the appointment desk and get my appointment. It is set for the following Friday at 3:00 in the afternoon.
The next Friday at 10 before 3:00 I show up for my appointment. At 3:00 on the dot I am called
in to speak with a planner. I go in and sit down with a lady this time. Guess what? She is just as happy to see me with that same dumb smile as the counter guy. I tell her my situation and within 5 minutes she gives me my answer. I couldn’t believe it. I wasted two Fridays and a couple of hours of driving through traffic for a five minute answer to my question.
As I was leaving she gave me a bit of advice. “Next time you have an easy question like this one,” she tells me, “just take a number and go to the front counter. It’s a lot quicker. Bye and have a great day.” If I was anyone famous, I would have thought I was just punked!
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